I can't believe you just did that!

How often have you heard someone say that or have you said it to yourself? I have over the years heard "I can't believe you just said that!" Those who know me are not shocked that my nickname was "no filter" and I will say what everyone is thinking but will not speak.

Back to the first statement, I can't believe you just did that! How often do we say this to ourselves, as we mentally beat ourselves up over a mistake? The world's harshest critic of you is often the person you look at in the mirror in the morning.

I hate to break this to you but you are not perfect. You are going to screw up, you are going to fuck up at times. We all make mistakes, we all have blown it in a big way. That is part of the human experience, what matters is how you deal with it.

Do you:

• Deny and blame others and accept no responsibility.

• Own your mistake, evaluate it, work to improve yourself so you handle the situation better the next time.

Screwing up does not make you a failure. What we often overlook when we look at successful people in any area is that they have failed over and over again. Those that are truly successful learn from their failures by evaluating what they did wrong, what can they do better and they give it another go. Most overnight successes have been busting their asses for more than a decade.

Do you want to be a great man who leaves a legacy? That man embraces his failure, learns from it and improves and moves forward. The guy who blames others or the world and takes no responsibility will not grow or achieve. Ironically some years ago I fired someone because he accepted no responsibility when he screwed up, even though they were a foreman.

How do you feel and how do you talk to yourself when you fail? Do you feel shame?

Brene Brown talks about the difference between guilt and shame, She breaks it down like this. Guilt is I did something bad. Shame is I am bad. You are not bad. You are not a loser. You made a mistake. You are human, you are whole as is.

My challenge for you is to take ownership of your successes and your failures. You do not have to "change" yourself, you need to grow and evolve.

Taking from something else Brene Brown talks about when you have screwed up and feeling shame. Will what you did matter in 3 days, 3 months, or 3 years from now?

You are going to fuck up at work, in life, in your relationships. Most of the time it will not matter 3 days, 3 months or 3 years from now. What matters is how you respond after you screw up. Take accountability, take ownership, stop beating yourself up and move forward, move on. You are going to be okay. You are okay.