The Dynamics of Intimacy: Understanding Women's Initiation and Rejection in Relationships
Jan 05, 2024
Recently Melanie and I had a discussion regarding relationships, and intimacy around sexual dynamics, including the initiation of intimate encounters and the impact of rejection. Most men don't realize this is a two-way street.
The conversation (link is at the bottom of the article) touched upon the challenges women face when it comes to initiating intimacy in relationships. One essential component of the conversation was the acknowledgment of the various reasons behind women's reluctance to initiate intimate moments.
What surprises most men is that women may experience fear of rejection, uncertainty about how to initiate, and a concern that their efforts may not be reciprocated or appreciated. These sentiments are compounded by societal expectations and personal experiences, culminating in a hesitancy to express their desires openly. This becomes even more difficult for a woman if she's faced this rejection before.
We also discussed the importance of men developing their skills in the bedroom and prioritizing their partner's pleasure. The profound impact of focusing on a partner's satisfaction was emphasized, highlighting that when a woman's needs are attended to, she becomes more receptive to intimate advances. Plain and simple great sex is far more appealing than bad sex too all people. Keep in mind none of this is at the exclusion of the man's pleasure.
We also delved into the emotional ramifications of rejection in the context of intimacy, underscoring the mental and emotional challenges that arise from feeling unappreciated or dismissed. A significant facet of this challenge is the societal narrative that men are primarily interested in one thing, which can deeply influence a woman's self-worth and confidence in initiating intimate moments. The reality is this is a lie, what men want is connection and intimacy not just sex.
Keep in mind both men and women may internalize rejection, and the impact of women's past experiences in relationships on their willingness to initiate intimacy in current relationships was also emphasized. Beyond the sexual aspect, men and women both want connection, intimacy, and non-sexual physical closeness.
I want to reiterate again connection and intimacy need to be the focus and a great sex life is a byproduct of that.
Also men sometimes have a very narrow definition of sex, penis and vagina (PIV) being what they see is sex. If this is how you view sex, you may actually be the problem as to why your sex life is suffering or is less than.
The key to a great sex life is open communication and an understanding there are many means of intimate connection, such as cuddling, during times when physical intimacy may not be feasible, non sexual touch. Keep in mind men that you should have a giving energy around these things. Are you giving a hug or are you hugging to get something?
If you are looking to get it is a needy energy that is repulsive to women. And they can feel your energy, so be honest with yourself, are you looking to get? Or are you giving from a loving and abundant heart?
Also through many conversations with women if you act upset and throw a fit when she is not in the mood or feeling it that does not make her want to be intimate with you more and may actually kill off that desire for far longer.
So brother I ask you, if you are honest and take a look within are you looking to get sex or you looking to give, grow and connect with an open and loving heart?
The other challenge we all face is most people cannot even talk about sex. How can you improve something if you can't even openly talk about it with your partner?
If you struggling these areas feel free to reach out to either Melanie or I for a conversation as this is something that can be worked on and improved upon.
Our contact information is below.
Don't navigate the complexities of relationships alone - find brotherhood, solidarity, growth, and renewed purpose with Mentoring Men.
https://mentoring.men/joindennis
If you'd like help feel free to click on the link below for FREE ACCESS to three of our courses including one to help provide the sexless bedroom:
https://mentoring.men/courses/
https://youtu.be/7kLPraAP7SQ?si=aJ8NM0Ztb9SxhfSX
